The White White House: Growing through, Going through Change

Lately, my boys are doing a lot of changing. I'm excited to see how God is growing them but I have also "felt" the changes. Sawyer has become so independent that he often spends part of his day at Granddaddy's or Holly's house without even checking back in with us. He prefers to have a "friend" play with him over mom these days. A few months ago, he didn't want to go get lunch without me and here we are now, he is eager to leave. He's also been going on some shopping trips with Anderson. They both love to go buy fireworks:)

Sawyer has discovered that he can venture off without mom and he is enjoying the independence.

Oftentimes, it feels like a lot rides on what choices I make for the boys as a homeschooling mother. I often feel like I am stretched to make sure I am giving them the things that are actually in my power to give to them. Just like many parents, much of the unknown and uncertainties can consume me, especially days when doubt or uncertainty creeps in. These are times when my heart leads me to pray more about their futures and opportunities for them to reach their potential, to find their gifts and to make friends that will encourage them in their walk with Jesus. Sawyer was always a little more introverted than Jackson so I often worried that he wouldn't like people. When he was little and I took him to a science class, he told me he wanted to go home because "I don't like all of these people." He still prefers smaller groups but he's certainly branching out these days and there have been big changes in his independence. I saw him venture off and make new friends at Jackson's baseball games this past season. We went to the aquarium last week and he told me he wanted to touch the sharks in the tank this time, something he didn't want to do before. I'm not sure what's changed in him but I believe that God has been preparing him for moments such as these, since his birth. There was never any reason to worry, like I did.

Jackson started working, just a few weeks ago. This weekend, he worked with a friend serving food at the balloon festival. That's not his regular job but he loves the opportunity to work with Parker, one of his friends and football teammates. Much of our schedules depend on his work schedule, since he can't drive. We are thankful that he's earning some money, doing something he enjoys, and learning about how much things cost, all through experiences. He's also dating now so he's learning that paying for a meal at Olive Garden can be equivalent to three hours of working.

He's growing up fast and he enjoys independence. He loves to be on the go and he loves hanging out with friends. It's hard to believe he will be driving alone, in a just a few months. He has a car of his own to drive now and he's working to pay for it and the gas that'll he'll need to burn up the road.

My first baby, before I had a baby😊 (the little boy that made me "Nanny") graduated from high school, another moment that reminded me how fast time flies! A bird is leaving the nest but he's not going too far. We will miss seeing Anderson on a weekly basis but we are thankful he's not going to be far down the road.

I was recently cleaning my house and just chatting with God about the changes I've noticed in my family and I heard him speak directly to my heart....The changes are often subtle because it would be difficult for your heart to handle if it wasn't a process. I took that to mean that God gradually prepares our hearts for our children's flights. It made perfect sense to me in that moment, so much so that it brought tears to my eyes. That process allows for growth and development in me, as a mother, as well as it does for my children. It reminds me of a child learning to walk. Babies aren't able to walk when they are newborns or before they are ready. We can't see the entire developmental process that leads to a child taking his first steps. It's a process that requires physical, emotional, and mental development. Walking is just one area, of many, that is part of child's path to independence. It's a beautiful process and God didn't design babies to be independent. Bonds that create trust are essential for an infant to thrive which results in healthy development which typically results in healthy children that grow into happy adults.

Over the past 15.5 years of parenting, I've seen my children often take baby steps, in various areas of their growth and development. God reminds me to trust him through the process. One day they will both take off to a destination where they won't need the comfort of my presence. I will try to embrace the changes, stages, delight in their newfound freedoms, and rejoice with them as they enter into new seasons of their lives. To God be the glory!

One of my favorite poems:

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,

You will never be the same.

You might long for the person you were before,

When you had freedom and time,

And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,

And days will run into days that are exactly the same,

Full of feeding and burping,

Whining and fighting,

Naps, or lack of naps. It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don't forget...

There is a last time for everything.

There will come a time when you will feed your baby

for the very last time.

They will fall asleep on you after a long day

And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip,

then set them down,

And never pick them up that way again.

You will scrub their hair in the bath one night

And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.

They will hold your hand to cross the road,

Then never reach for it again.

They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,

And it will be the last night you ever wake for this.

One afternoon you will sing 'the wheels on the bus'

and do all the actions,

Then you'll never sing that song again.

They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,

the next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.

You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your

last dirty face.

They will one day run to you with arms raised,

for the very last time.

The thing is, you won't even know it's the last time

until there are no more times, and even then,

it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,

remember there are only so many of them and

when they are gone,

you will yearn for just one more day of them

For one last time.

Author unknown

Nate Cleveland off crutches, hanging with the boys and the Strauss kids

Rae

Yoda is growing

Yoda and Mama G

Sawyer with one of the Strauss dogs

Avery and Jackson, before heading to the "Sock Hop" at Hope Community

Someone found a rat snake in Granddaddy's garden

Fort Fisher

Still climbing trees😀

We didn't see the sign about not climbing on this, until we had taken the picture. Oops!

Little Anderson

Anderson, Andrew and Jackson, about 11 years ago.

Anderson's graduation

Andrew Harvey, Anderson & Jackson

Anderson & Abby

Anderson's Grammy and Granny

Bailey- Jackson called her "Baby" when he was little because he couldn't say Bailey

Uncle Bill and Aunt Bonnie

Daniel Lee, Patrick's son, Anderson & Abby will all be attending State in the fall

Addi and Cole

Andrew, Cole and Addi

Somebody is drinking from my water cup

Beautiful and tasty cookies

The best ice cream!

Lorikeets at the aquarium

Sawyer and I spent a good while blowing bubbles, one late afternoon, this past weekend. It reminded me of the many times we would do that together when he was smaller. How is it that such a simple activity can bring so much joy and laugher! I hope he never outgrows the enjoyment of little things such as this.